It took a few years and a few tries before Madison and I were able to find a date that would work for both of our busy schedules, but one day the calendars aligned! We shot in a dry riverbed full of volcanic rocks and an abandoned farmhouse and got some nice contrasty shots. Madison has a look that reminds me of classic 1930s Hollywood.
One thing about smoky skies in the Boise summer is that it makes great natural lighting! Jordan and I visited what turned out to be a busy local park along the river in the late afternoon. She has a great freedom and confidence that is endearing. This city park nude shoot was really fun. When Jordan got in the river, we met a nice pregnant lady who enjoyed watching our shoot. She was soaking her feet in the cool water and shared with us that nudity was so much more common and accepted where she grew up in northern Europe. She was glad we were out there taking advantage of a great afternoon.
Joy had always wanted a hotel boudoir shoot in a boutique suite, and as she had a connection who could provide it, she asked if I would help bring her dream to reality. Here’s the result of a fun shoot working with confined spaces, playing with light and dark.
MODEL / Hannah PHOTOGRAPHY / JASON LEE INTERVIEW – CHAPTER I
“It’s just like the most powerful thing to do.” – Hannah
Hannah is a treasure. We have worked together on several occasions and on the drive out to our most recent shoot, I got to ask her a few questions and she agreed to allow me to record our conversation and share it. She wanted to share with me about how the experience of shooting nude with Genesis Modeling and Photography has helped her overcome personal battles following sexual abuse. It was a long conversation and so we’ll break it up into a few chapters. We talk about some heavy topics, so if that triggers you, be forewarned.
Here are some excerpts from our interview:
Jason: Can you describe how shooting nude helped you after being assaulted? You called it something like “taking back who you are?“
Hannah: I think after [the assault] happens you kind of lose a sense of yourself, and you just kind of think like, okay, well if that’s all I’m really going to be used for, then maybe that’s all I’m only meant for…. It sounds kind of pitiful I guess, but at the same time, it’s like I went through something and came out basically feeling broken.
And so to be able to gain that confidence and vulnerability back in a good way, it’s just, it’s such a relief-feeling to know that you can still love yourself after that happened to you. That it was not your fault. And I think a lot of people that are victims of those things blame themselves, or they’re like, well, what if I just didn’t go to that party? Or what if I just didn’t have that drink? You know what I mean? And it’s being comfortable again with your body. Like literally, I could just never look at myself naked. It took so long for me to be to do that.
J: Why do you think that was?
H: I felt like it was my fault and I was stressing: how did I let that happen to me? And then I had to realize like a lot of things are out of my control and that I didn’t choose to have that happen. I needed to let it “break you or make you.” I told myself that it’s fine to have the grieving process, but you have to get on your feet sooner or later.
One of my friends is a rape victim as well. And it’s just crazy to think like how often it happens. And then when it happens to you, you reach out to other people and you find out that’s happening a lot more. It changes your perspective, I guess a little bit. So you don’t feel so alone.
J: So by sharing your story, embracing community, it gives you power over…
H: Yeah. It’s basically like, OK, you took that part away from me, but you’re not going to take away the rest. Like you’re not going to take me away from myself. Yeah, for a moment, you tore my identity apart, but now that I found out who I am, again, it’s like, you can’t touch me anymore.
If I can embrace nudity in a non-sexual way, then it’s like, what else is there to see? I think it’s very empowering for us to embrace being comfortable naked.
I think a lot of people are very immature and I admit that I also struggled with insecurity for sure, especially after what happened. I thought no one would ever look at me the same way if I told them what had happened. But being able to look at yourself in a better way – being able to see yourself naked pushes you to realize that it doesn’t really matter how the other people think. It’s how you feel about yourself.
J: Do you think that rape is more about the physical or about the emotional?
H: I think it’s definitely both. Personally, I feel like every rapist, even if they don’t want to extend it, they definitely feel remorse for what they did. Although there are some people that don’t feel that emotion like that, but I think the majority of people do understand that their actions cause pain. My rapist – He tried reaching out afterwards, like after a month and apologizing, but honestly, I just didn’t really want to hear it. I appreciate him understanding that what he did was wrong, but I don’t want any communication of that because it was his choice to do it.
I think people that feel the need to do that didn’t get the love that they needed growing up and they searched for it in the wrong way. They don’t get it from the ways that they’re searching either, because they go out and hurt someone and take away their happiness.
J: How do you think that society contributes to the environment of allowing or promoting rape?
H: I think it should be harder [on rapists]. So I think there’s the legal part where a lot of people that rape don’t get in trouble. It’s very rare for a rapist to go to jail, or anyway for a long time, or a real reprimand or consequence for their actions — whether it’s a female or male, you know, it can come from both ways. So I think that because of the way you view community and sex and stuff like that, like if you go onto like porn sites, a lot of it — it’s very rough — like not what real sex is. And I think people that don’t experience healthy ways of experiencing sexuality and nudity and being subjected to nudity very often have a difficult time distinguishing what’s right and wrong when it comes to sex. I think society play a huge part in that though. Especially now, if you go on social media, it’s all about girls’ bodies. Like it’s never about like personality or who they are, which might sound cheesy. But like, I feel like nowadays people shop for girls — or men as well — like it’s very subjective.
And I think society needs to do a better job at allowing helpful nudity. So I feel like if we subject everyone to more nudity, I don’t think [sexualizing] nudity would be a huge thing anymore. Like rape would still happen obviously, but I don’t think it would be as severe as it is now.
J: That brings up an interesting question to me: Does sharing nude photographs on social media help people see more normalcy of nudity to you? Or does it add into that shopping culture?
H: I think it definitely depends on how the nudity is being portrayed because you can take two different types of nude photos. You can make sexual nudes, or you can take artistic nudes. Like a girl eating a banana while wearing lingerie is likely insinuating something there. But like, for example, your photo of me, nude near a waterfall, definitely not sexual, it’s just nude.
You know what I mean? Like there’s a difference between sex and nude. And I think we have a hard time distinguishing that in society. And as soon as they see a naked person, they’re like, Oh my gosh, sex, that’s the first thing we are taught to think about. But instead, why, like, why do we think that way? Why can’t we think of it as just like an art form? And I mean, that’s what it is. We’re all born naked.
J: How did seeing yourself in the photos adjust your outlook?
H: I think a lot of what follows after sexual assault, is a lot of shame. And guilt. And I just wonder, like, why me? To get over that, you just really have to be vulnerable again with yourself. Like I literally never thought I’d be able to look at myself naked again, after the whole thing happened. And then like doing that shoot, I was like, why am I so scared? Like, I’m not going to die if I’m naked. Like nothing bad’s gonna happen!
J: What do you think the mental switch was?
H: I think I just stopped. Like I just stopped allowing my past to determine who I am as a person and as my future. I just allowed myself to embrace who I was and it just felt so good to just be who I was again. And being naked at our shoot was kind of like a turning point for me. I don’t know if it’s the vulnerability aspect or like having the ability to be in a safe place and feel that emotion as well and not be scared. It’s just a really great feeling.
J: Any closing thoughts?
H: I want more people to shoot nude! I don’t know why people don’t just go for it when considering a nude shoot. You know? Honestly, like it’s scary at first, and then when you do it, it’s just like the most powerful thing to do. And it’s just, why was I scared in the first place? It’s like not even worth being afraid about. It’s like everything worked out great. And you learn to love yourself again. 100%.
PART 1: Some of the most beautiful places in the world are right here in Idaho. Shh! Don’t tell! Joy and I hit the road for these shots near the Sawtooth Mountains. Here was Joy’s reaction to the photos:
“I just looked at them and omg 🥺 they are beautiful! I love then so much and they made me smile so much!!!”
PART 1: The backdrop: A fascinatingly unique water-and-wind-carved canyon that can only be accessed in the wintertime. Even though it was 22 degrees Fahrenheit, Hannah braved the weather, climbing rocks and bracing through the cold as we worked quickly through the area. Here are her thoughts, after seeing the results:
“Sooo those pictures turned out absolutely amazing!!! I think a couple of my favorites would be of me on that rock that I was terrified of climbing! They look so good. Thank you for giving me the confidence to do it! I can’t get over how amazing they are! I love how the shapes just flow so well and there are a couple of other ones where I blend in with the rocks and it’s beautiful. I love sharing this art with people and creating it with people like you. I honestly never thought of nudism the way I do now and I’m so happy to be apart of the movement!”
Along the banks of the Boise River, enjoying the peace and solitude with Katie…
My shoot was amazing. I was definitely nervous because I had never done that kind of concept before. I felt anxious driving out to our location, and when I pulled up at the park, I really wasn’t sure what to expect.
Luckily, you arrived right then and I was reassured to see a normal, nice guy get out of the car. We introduced ourselves and made some small talk and I could feel myself relaxing a little bit. Like from an 70% stress level to a 50%. We talked through some outfit choices and posing ideas and I steadily felt more confident.
The location was so beautiful! The park was just like a forest with a gorgeous river and lots of plants and stuff. I felt like some kind of Pocahontas or something and it was really fun. But there was definitely some part of me that was holding back. My whole life as a woman I have been trained to behave “modestly.” To hide my body for fear of offending someone else.
It was insanely hard to fight this internal battle throughout the shoot. I know this inner struggle made me more difficult to shoot.
But you were great the whole time. Reassuring me, helping with my posing, and most of all having the patience to help me embrace my most natural self.
Your final product is stunning, I can honestly say this is my favorite shoot! ❤😊
A new follower found my Instagram account recently and contacted me to share his story and ask some questions. He was frustrated with his local church and saddened with how he’d been treated for embracing the biblical view of the body. I thought you might want to listen in on our short conversation. For the purpose of this blog post, I’ll call him Lucas.
Lucas: I saw your post about Jesus and wanted to talk about religion and naturism because most religious people are so against nudity. I just recently stopped going to church because even though it was very spiritual, there was still shame towards things like nudity.
Jason: Yeah. The goodness of the body is something the church is still mostly unaware of. So much of what has been taught is based on non-christian ideas passed down through history instead of what the Bible actually teaches.
L: I went through a sort of awakening and ended up in nature and one day a voice in my head told me to get naked and I did! And it was amazing and I just wanted to share this bliss with the world… but the pastor at my church totally called me extreme and that I need to stay in the middle. That really got me down for a while, but I’m coming out of it.
J: Did you know there’s actually lots of natural nudity in the Bible? Most people have no idea how normal being naked was in Scripture. In fact, Jesus was naked when he rose from the dead. A casual reader will notice that it says the grave clothes were left in the tomb. Mary saw Him from a distance and assumed he was the gardener. Why? Because in those days people did all their outdoor work naked. Mary wasn’t shocked by Jesus’ lack of attire. And it didn’t stop her from running up and giving Him a hug.
I believe that God is opening up this old truth again for our generation. Instead of hiding our bodies in darkness and assuming sin, we should walk freely in the light as He made us. Light pushes away darkness and brings maturity.
A great resource you’d enjoy is a website written by a friend of mine called the Biblical Naturist. Matthew Neal has spent years connecting the dots between natural nudity and the Bible.
L: I agree so many of us are waking up to this truth. Getting naked has been a blessing and has actually helped me deal with my sexuality and porn addiction. Now I no longer always have sex on the brain, not to mention the incredible self confidence and the added energy and joy. It’s beautiful.
J: That’s a great testimony. I want to share another website with you: mychainsaregone.org Another great resource that brings light into darkness and shows us that once we change our perspective on the body, addictions falls away.
L: I will check them both out! 😄
J: Do! You will be blessed. After His resurrection, we have another glimpse of natural nudity when the disciples were fishing and it says Peter was naked because he was fishing (John 21:7). So he grabbed his shirt, threw it over his head and jumped in the lake and swam to the shore where Jesus was. I can go on!
L: I love it! It’s crazy how people can just ignore all that.
J: They haven’t been taught to see it. They wear cultural glasses when reading the scriptures. And many of the translations obscure the text so as not to offend modern sensibilities.
L: All this shame towards nudity has made porn rampant it has had the opposite effect. Instead of learning love, people instead hate and defile their bodies.
J: That’s right. Teaching people that the sight of simple nudity is sinful only fuels adds fuel to the fire. When you show someone the truth they can be set free and put the fire out!
L: Ever since I got healthy and started going out into nature I’ve been seeing the world with new eyes.
J: Let me tell you one more fun Christian nudity fact. Did you know that until infant baptism took off in the third century, all water baptisms were done in the nude? Men, women and children. Every believer!
L: No, I didn’t, but it makes sense. Why get your clothes wet?
J: Imagine that in today’s church!
L: Haha that would be awesome.
J: Yes, why get your clothes wet, but it was more than that, too. Going into and out of the water unadorned symbolizes being born again. Just as we enter the world naked, believers in Jesus Christ would be immersed in water and rise out–entering the new life given through Christ. I pray that God’s people will rediscover these powerful truths.
L: I love that! and I pray that too. Slow but surely it is happening. Someone made a very good point how violence is so widely accepted and glorified but if someone is naked then it must be taken down…but plenty of sex in movies.
J: Yes. That makes me so sad that Americans would rather allow their children to see someone shot up or beaten to death than glimpse a simple body part like a nipple.
L: Things just don’t make any sense at all and people are starting to see that.
J: The more people recognize the silliness of hiding our bodies and join in, the harder it is for controllers to use the body as a product or as a tool for evil. And I bet there are other Christians in your area who have also learned this truth.
L: Yeah people wanna get rid of separation and old beliefs it’s beautiful. And I have found some people around here like me!
J: Thanks for reaching out, Lucas and for supporting my work. It’s encouraging to hear that God is revealing truth all over America. Let’s keep sharing!
In a beam of sunlight… We shot this in an ancient golf course clubhouse that had burned down in the 1940s. The forest had grown up all around it and it wasn’t that easy to get into. The light from the sun still managed to find a way through the trees. And you never know who you’re going to meet! Noelle came along as a friend on a different model’s shoot. Before long, she was in front of the camera too! It never hurts to ask.